After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
