Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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