Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize