clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't think brook has ever known best
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
