I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
