Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
