Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm so fucking centered right now
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
