My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
