Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
