im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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