You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
