How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
