We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
