i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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