yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
