Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
