how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
