In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
