Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
