Just fell off a train. Bad.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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