doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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