What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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