It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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