my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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