From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
