His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
