My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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