I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
