Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
