I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
