Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
