I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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