sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
