was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
