that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
