Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Boobs are out for the taking
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
