Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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