His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
All I want is dick and wine.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
