I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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