i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
