haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
