Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
