my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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