drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
