That's when you crack a 10am beer
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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