i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
