bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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