READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I want to be your penis for a week.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
