You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
