I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
