I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
